I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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