It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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