At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Church boner. Awkwardddd
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize