If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
