Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
