Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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