He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
