I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Best friends brother. Beat that.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I think your dad took our porno
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize