on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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