is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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