New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
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