census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
