And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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