I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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