i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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