i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
