Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
