woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
