ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
