It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
