Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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