There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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