I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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