i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
