Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize