so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
