I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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