Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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