Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
