I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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