i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
