Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
