rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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