Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
