make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
