so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize