Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
