I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize