dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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