his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
