I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
