Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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