How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
