she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize