There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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