I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
