I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
