you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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