I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
