Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize