Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
