Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
