Kiss
Puke
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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