Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
