Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
