Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
