Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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