Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Is her dick bigger than yours?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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