this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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