i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I want to fling myself into the sun
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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